You, Me and We: Sharing Stories on the Road to Stronger Relationships

You, Me and We: Sharing Stories on the Road to Stronger Relationships

Image: Utagawa Hiroshige, Reisho Tokaido, 1840, Philadelphia Museum of Art, [Public Domain] via Wikimedia Commons

Note: We are delighted to introduce Hugh McDonald, Ph.D., the newest member of the Books@Work team. As our new Director of Research and Evaluation, Hugh brings us both the expertise and the experience to tackle our data and our observations to help us refine our offerings and demonstrate our impact – to individuals, teams, organizations and the community. You can read more about Hugh’s background here. I hope you will join us welcoming Hugh to the Books@Work team as you read his remarks below.  —Ann Kowal Smith, Executive Director

I’ve always been fascinated by systems of all kinds – mechanical linkages, circuit boards, solar systems, ecosystems. At the tiny end of the scale, we ourselves are made up of linked systems of cells and chemicals and vessels; at the vaster end, our entire universe is a system of clusters of galaxies linked by gravity. But not all systems are as remote as these. Among the most intricate and compelling systems are the ones we navigate every day: the relationships, groups, networks and hierarchies that make up the personal and professional fabric of our lives. We’re born into some of these systems – our families and cultures – and others we choose and build based on our goals and needs. Some social systems are rigid and rule-defined; others are loose, flexible and informal. You’ve heard it before: humans are deeply social animals.

Utagawa Hiroshige, Fuchū, an illustration of people interacting

Utagawa Hiroshige, Fuchū, c. 1850, Los Angeles County Museum of Art, [Public Domain] via Wikimedia Commons

However, while we are always embedded in a dynamic web of interlocking social interactions, we are often unaware of the perceptions, biases, judgments and expectations we bring to those relationships, and how our underlying ideas and motivations affect the way they work. That’s especially true when we’re in unfamiliar territory, when we’re distracted, when we’re stressed or emotionally involved – common complaints in a fast-paced world.

This is what attracted me to Books@Work. Immersing ourselves in a story, and then sharing what that story meant to us – what it revealed about human nature, how it made us think about loss and change, meeting challenges, and characters and environments different from those we experience daily – makes us aware of not only our own motivations, fears and desires but of how we perceive and think about those around us. And in turn, that heightened awareness can engage more collaborative and creative social interactions.

I’m very excited about Books@Work’s approach of bringing people together to share their reactions to stories, and I’m fortunate to be able to join the team in a role that brings together the threads of my background as a social psychologist. As an academic, I investigated the way we perceive and remember information about others and studied the effects of emotional experiences on creativity. I then spent 15 years at San Francisco’s Exploratorium, “the museum of science, art and human perception,” where I helped create and evaluate exhibits on topics including cooperation, stereotyping and sharing. My time there convinced me that exploring new ideas can prompt us to examine our own social perceptions and emotional responses. My role at Books@Work is to help us understand how the seemingly simple act of talking about our responses to a story, and finding out how our reactions differed from those of others, can unlock exploration of our own beliefs and expectations and foster stronger, more flexible and more creative social relationships. In a time sometimes marked by polarizing disagreement and disunity, it’s difficult to imagine more important goals – or a more rewarding challenge.

Learn More About Our Programs or Continue Reading The Notebook:

New Connections: Books@Work in a Suburban Municipality
Story at Work: Making Space For Shared Experiences
Storytelling as “Game-Changing Technology”


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Hugh McDonald

Hugh McDonald

Hugh McDonald is an Executive Producer at Ideum and former member of the Books@Work team.